adventures in homophobia

Dad: tehehe
Me: AHHH DAD WHAT DID YOU DO TO KURT AND BLAINE THE SALT SHAKERS
Dad: I took off all the parts that make them those gay boys!
Me: WTF WHY!?
Dad: I'm done with gay boys at our dinner table!
Me: Omg dad no fu. *fixes kurt and blaine*
*dances blaine on dad's shoulder as I sing Raise Your Glass*
Dad: woigoihreoifb GET THAT OFF ME
Me: Oh you want something sadder. LOOK BLAINE IS CRYING *pours pepper all over the table and sings Cough Syrup*
Dad: OHH THE HOMOSEXUAL MESSS (lol not but really that would be funny mostly he was just mad)
Me: LOOK HERE'S KURT SINGING DEFYING GRAVITY AS HE WHIZZES AROUND THE TABLE!!!
Dad: You will stop that!
Me: PRETTY PRETTY PLEAAAASE, IF YOU EVA EVA FEEEEEL
Dad: *incoherent grumbling*

SIERRA: 1 DAD: 0

~~~later this evening~~~ *because playing into my dad's fears of me being lesbian is so funny*
Me: That's lame why does Nessie never bark at you she always barks at me
Dad: It's because I'm the Alpha Male
Me: When I grow up I'm going to be the Alpha Male
Dad: *sputters* YOU CAN'T! Mom is just a fine Alpha Female.
Me: I'm shooting for the moon, dad! I want to be the Alpha Male! Everyone will obey me!
Dad: *addresses the dog* She's full of shit, Nessie. *whispers* fulllllll of shiiittttt



Dad can't stand any strong females. Mom is the the most vanilla little subservient thing, and I'm like "SIERRA GO! SIERRA USES: FEMINISM! IT'S REALLY FUCKING EFFECTIVE."

Sierra: 2 Dad: 0